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Question 118

Q: My husband and I have a good relationship, but he’s not supporting me in relationship with his family.

His mother has hurt me terribly; we’ve not always seen eye-to-eye on issues. As a result, we don’t visit her very often. That’s fine, but my husband won’t tell his mother the truth about how she and her other children have hurt us. He just makes excuses. What should I do?

Asked by: Lisa


A: Well Lisa, you’re in a difficult situation because your husband should take your side in these disputes.

The Bible very wisely says, “Then shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife.” He is to leave and he is to cleave. And that kind of leaving and cleaving isn’t simply a matter of geography, it’s emotional also. He is to take up your side in some of the disputes that have happened between you and your mother-in-law.

Now, couple of things, first of all, it may well be that your husband thinks that you’re partially at fault for the breach in fellowship, so you need to discuss that, and work through that. If there’s forgiveness that needs to be offered and requested on your side, you most assuredly have to do that.

But after that’s been done, I think that you need to talk to your pastor. Your husband needs to understand that if he wants a happy marriage, he can’t always side with his mother. Now, you do say in your letter that you don’t visit her very often and that you’re fine with that. It does, however, mask a problem in your marriage that needs resolution.

Go for help, pray for your husband that he will see that he has a part that he needs to play if he wants a harmonious relationship with you.

Scripture references

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